The Power of Moms’ Words
I hear my Mom in my head.
I hear my Mom come flying out of my mouth. I hear her warnings, her admonitions, her corrections, her unique phrases, her repeated memories. She is a part of me and will be, until my dying day.
But I raised kids too. And guess whose voice they hear? Mine. Guess whose words come flying out of their mouths? Mine.
Oh how I have agonized in regret about all the things I wish I could go back and do differently! Even more so, how I wish I could go back and say things differently!
My son called me recently. With self-judgement and self-accusation, he retold the story of his day. I had the opportunity for a do-over. To say things differently than I would have when he was a kid.
I soothingly spoke truth into his heart. From my mouth, through his ears, sinking deep into his heart, I spoke again to that little six-year-old boy. I spoke again, to that fifteen-year-old boy.
“You are exactly as you should be in this moment, son. You shouldn’t be any different than you are. Today. You are exactly as you should be.”
And I knew in that moment that his internal mom-voice could be changed. I have the same power in my tongue today as I had when he was young. I can re-program, and re-write the words I sewed into this man-child all those years ago.
My time with my son is not over just because he’s grown, married, and has kids of his own. My influence in his life is just as powerful. I haven’t lost the chance to make a difference. I haven’t lost the chance to impact his world. In fact, because I’m not breathing down his throat every day, my influence may be even stronger.
He needs words of life, words of encouragement, words that empower him even more now than when he was younger. Like a drink of water on a hot, dry, thirsty day, my words will fill a need. The need that only a mom’s words can fill.
If we parent our adult children well, especially in those first few years, we will earn equity in our relationship and earn the chance to speak into their lives when it’s needed later on. For me, this is an amazing opportunity to kill the regret that tries to choke me.
(See my blog reflection, “Changing Roles”, for a few thoughts on parenting adult children well.)
Can you think of a time you were able to use the power of your words as a force for good in someone’s life? I’d love to hear all about it! Comment below.
